A Heart So Fierce and Broken

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by Brigid Kemmerer
First sentence: “I miss knowing exactly what time it is.”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Others in the series: A Curse So Dark and Lonely
Review copy provided by the publisher.
Content: There are some moments of violence and mild swearing It’s in the teen section of the bookstore.

This picks up where the first book in the series left off: Rhen and Harper have put off their enemies to the north in Syhl Shallow, but that seeded unrest in Emberfall. There are rumors that there is another heir, someone more suited to the crown than Rhen, and that his former Commander of the Royal Guard, Grey, knows who it is. But, Grey is refusing to tell. Meanwhile, one of the daughters of the Syhl Shallow queen, Lia Mara, would rather have peace than war, but instead of negotiating, Rhen imprisons her. She and Grey fall in together (after a series of incredibly vicious circumstances) and try to broker peace between the two countries.

It’s been forever since I read the first in this series, and from what I can gather over at Goodreads, that’s a good thing. This book follows Grey and Lia Mara, leaving Rhen and Harper to be background characters. I think if you read these two too close together, you get invested in Rhen and Harper’s story and there’s a bit of backlash with the change in narrators. As for me, I didn’t mind. I liked seeing the growth in Grey and Lia Mara’s quiet strength. I liked following their stories and learning more about characters where were background in the first book. I though it was an interesting development in the story, moving away from the fairy tale retelling and becoming its own thing. It’s probably not perfect, but I found it entertaining and am curious to see where the next book takes these characters.

Recollections of My Nonexistence

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by Rebecca Solnit
First sentence: “One day long ago, I looked at myself as I faced a full-length mirror and saw my image darken and soften and then seem to retreat, as though I was vanishing from the world rather than that my mind was shutting it out.”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Review copy provided by the publisher.
Content: There is some mild swearing and talk of rape, but nothing graphic. It’s in the biography section of the bookstore.

I had no idea what to expect from this book. I’ve never read any Solnit before, though she’s been writing for decades. I only picked this up because we have this Pick of the List program at the bookstore, and this was one of our picks (booksellers more sophisticated than me picked it!). What I got was a beautifully written, lyrical, loosely chronological memoir of a woman’s professional life. It’s not a strict memoir, per se: Solnit only briefly touches on her childhood, and it tends to jump around in time. “Recollections” is really the best word for it, as it feels as though she’s sitting with you just kind of musing about the paths her life has taken. It is a feminist work: the “Nonexistence” part is about how men have often tried to diminish her thoughts, her work, herself and her perseverance in the face of that.

It is so beautifully written though. A couple passages that struck me: “I believe in the irreducible and in invocation and evocation, and I am fond of sentences less like superhighways than winding paths, with the occasional scenic detour or pause to take in the view, since a footpath can traverse steep and twisting terrain that a paved road cannot.” I feel like this could be the book’s thesis statement. And yet, the paths she takes us down are both lyrical and interesting and I found myself wanting to take the time to wander with her.

A second passage: “I was arguing that the wars of the future and the past were overlapping in the present, and that they were largely unrecognized because of how we thought about things like war, and the West, and nature, and culture, and Native people.” Even with her musings, she is political and radical, and reminded me so very strongly of some of the Western writers I’ve read, like Terry Tempest Williams. I’m not hugely drawn to the West or the Southwest in writing (or in nature, preferring my lush green trees and water — and yes, humidity — of the East and South), but I admire writers like Solnit for their passion for wide open spaces and their understanding of how Native peoples fit into the larger picture.

I’m actually curious about some of Solnit’s other books now. And perhaps I will actually read them. I’m glad I read this one.

The Knockout Queen

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by Rufi Thorpe
First sentence: “When I was eleven years old, I moved in with my aunt after my mother was sent to prison”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Review copy provided by the publisher.
Release date: April 28, 2020
Content: There is a lot of swearing, including many f-bombs, and some graphic sex. It will be in the adult fiction section of the bookstore.

When Michael moved to North Shore, California, he moved in next door to Bunny Lampert and her father. Bunny was the star of North Shore, tall, blonde, beautiful (even at eleven) and talented at volleyball. Even though Michael was none of those things — being, rather, a tortured, deeply in the closet gay teenage boy — he and Bunny became best friends. Not the sort of friends that hung out at school (or even after, really) but the kind that stays up late at night doing face masks and talking about all sorts of things. While they were not inseparable, they were devoted.

So much so, that Bunny is willing to go to bat for Michael when a girl on the volleyball team starts badmouthing him. Go to bat, in the sense that she beat the other girl into a coma. From there, Michael’s and Bunny’s paths irrevocably diverge.

This story is all told through Michael’s reflections as an adult, as he tries to figure out who he is, and why society is so deeply unfair to those who don’t have the money to make a decent life for themselves (his mother was sent to prison for defending herself against and abusive husband). He gets into abusive relationships because he’s deeply self-loathing, as is Bunny, and maybe this self-loathing is what ties them together? It’s not a happy narrative, but it is one that has made me think. About perceptions — did Bunny become the person everyone thought she was, or was she always that way — about class, about the things in our lives that affect us.

I’m not entirely sure I liked this book, but it is one that will stay with me for a while, and perhaps that’s worth something, in the end.

State of the TBR Pile: April 2020

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Part of me wonders if I should take picture of my shelves rather than just the pile on my dresser. There are lots of books I could be reading (and probably should be reading) right now, but I really can’t find the brainpower to actually read. I’m slowly working through a couple, but this is what sits on my nightstand. Maybe I’ll actually read one or two of them.

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett
Why We’re Polarized by Ezra Klein
Almost American Girl by Robin Ha
The Gravity of Us by Phil Stamper
Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland

What are you looking forward to reading? Are you even reading?

Audio book: Southern Lady Code

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by Helen Ellis
Read by the author
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Or listen at Libro.fm
Content: There’s some swearing, including a couple of f-bombs It’s in the Creative NonFiction section at the bookstore.

I was looking for something light and fluffy during this time of stress and gloom, and I noticed this in my Libro to-read queue. I decided, why not? It sounds fun.

And it was. Helen is a delightful narrator, sounding like she was just sitting there with her mild Alabama accent, telling you a whole bunch of stories and advice. It’s funny, it’s reflective, it’s charming, and I I think it would be loads of fun to be Ellis’ friend. She’s smart, she’s sassy, I adore her parents, and this was definitely the right audio book at the right time.

The Hand on the Wall

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by Maureen Johnson
First sentence: “The snow had been falling for hours, drifting past the windows, settling on the sill, forming little landscapes that mimicked the mountains in the distance.”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Others in the series: Truly Devious, The Vanishing Stair
Content: There’s some mild swearing and a couple of f-bombs, talk of teenage sex (but none actual). It’s in the Teen section (grades 9+) of the bookstore.

When we last left Stevie and her friends, Ellingham had just been shut down, and her off-campus adviser had just died in a (suspicious) house fire. Stevie had also figured out the nearly century-old disappearance of Alice Ellingham. And now? She’s stuck in the school during a blizzard with a small group of her friends, most of whom are helping David look through stolen documents trying to get dirt on his (shady politician) dad.

But there are still questions left for Stevie left to solve: what about the three current deaths at Ellingham? Are the accident or murder? And where is Alice’s body?

First: I’m glad Johnson finished a series! I really enjoy her writing, and I think she has a gift for storytelling. It’s just that finishing series isn’t something that happens (I got invested in two — Suite Scarlett and Shades of London — that never finished). So, I am super happy that this one had an ending! And it was a very satisfying one.

Second: I think Johnson does have a gift for mysteries. She gave us all the clues — mostly in flashbacks, but also through Stevie’s detective work — to figure out the mystery, but added enough intrigue to keep me interested, at least.

So, a very good ending to a very good series.

Audiobook: Stop Missing Your Life

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by Cory Muscara
Read by the author
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Or listen at libro.fm
Content: There were two f-bombs and some mild swearing, which seemed odd and out of place. It’s in the mindfulness section of the bookstore.

I’m not entirely sure why I picked this up, other than to satisfy a category in the #ReadICT challenge, but I’m kind of glad I did. It’s a how-to and a why book on meditation, something I tried for a while (about a year, I think) and then dismissed as something “too hard” (sitting still is quite hard for me). I do yoga kind of regularly, once or twice a week, but meditation? Not so much.

But, in this crazy world (and especially after the insanity surrounding COVID), I really kind of needed this. Yeah, it’s another Buddhist mindfulness book, but I liked that Muscara is practical about the whole thing. He does impart Buddhist philosophy: that the idea to “happiness” is to be able to sit with emotion and situations as they are, whether “good” or “bad”, and be able to interact with them without trying to control them. That’s not how I usually think of “mindfulness”, and I appreciated thinking differently. He also gives a huge variety of meditation practices, from what you traditionally think of “meditation” to a practice with your phone (or any technology) in order to interact with it in a more present and mindful matter. I think, for me, the simple question of asking why am I doing things has made the most difference. Why am I scrolling through Facebook? Why am I eating the cake? Why do I feel anxious? It’s helped. That, and doing a body scan practice, which, yes, is a form of meditation, every night.

And I highly recommend it on audio. Cory is a good reader, and it’s beneficial to be able to go through some of the practices as he reads them. It’s a very conversational book, which works well in audio form.

It’s probably not drastically changed my life, but I do have a wider perspective on things, and maybe that will, in the long run, be a good thing.

Little Women

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by Louisa May Alcott
First sentence: “‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Content: It is very long and old-fashioned (well, it was written in the 1860s). It’s in the fiction section as well as the middle grade classics section.

I have had an affection for this book for a long time. Maybe since youth? I’m not sure, but I think my youth affections were more for Laura Ingalls Wilder and L. M. Montgomery than Louisa May Alcott. I know, as a mother, I have tried to be like Marmee: supportive and loving, but letting my girls be their own individual selves, giving advice and comfort as needed.

So, I haven’t read this for at least 25 years; I think the last time I cracked open the book was soon after the 1994 movie came out. And, well, now I remember why. See, I think I have a fondness for the story, and for the movies (I really enjoyed the new Greta Gerwig one!). But the book, I find, well, dull and long-winded and more than a bit preachy. I tell myself it’s because it’s 150 years old, but I don’t feel the same way about Jane Austen and those are more than 200 years old! There are moments of sweetness and sass (which is why the movies can distill the story so well), but the book is overlong, and full of passages that I ended up skipping.

And can we talk about the end? The whole book spent championing girls and women and their lives, and Jo decides to open a school for BOYS? It just didn’t sit well with me, but maybe that’s because I’m reading it with 21st century eyes.

So, yes to the story (and the movies). But it may be another 25 years before I read the book again.

Monthly Round-up: March 2020

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I had no idea — none of us did, really — at the beginning that we would be all stuck at home trying our best to slow the onset of a pandemic. On the upside? A lot of time to read. Maybe. I find that I’m having a hard time focusing on print books, so I’ve been listening to a lot of audio while doing puzzles. It seems to be easier.

I’m not sure I had a favorite this past month; everything seems to have blurred together. Here’s what I read:

Graphic Novels:

Grimoire Noir
Surviving the City
They Called Us Enemy
Mooncakes
This Place: 150 Years Retold

YA:

The Vanishing Stair
Girls of Paper and Fire

Adult Fiction:

The Worst Best Man (audiobook)
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982

Non-Fiction:

Round Ireland With a Fridge
Becoming (audiobook)
Stamped: Racism, Anti-racisim, and You (audiobook)

Did you have a favorite this month?

Girls of Paper and Fire

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by Natasha Ngan
First sentence: “There is a tradition in our kingdom, one all castes of demon and human follow.”
Support your local independent bookstore: buy it there!
Content: There is sexual assault and rape (though mostly off-screen) as well as physical violence. There is also some implied sex. It’s in the Teen section (grades 9+) of the bookstore.

I’ve seen this one on the shelf for a while, and it looks intriguing, but I had NO idea what I was about to get into.

In some ways, it’s easier to explain the world Ngan created: it’s vaguely Chinese (she’s half-Malaysian) but she’s flipped the usual hierarchy: the Moon caste, who are fully animal demon, are on the top. Then come the Steel caste, who are half human and half demon. And finally, on the bottom, are humans, the Paper caste. There are a lot of politics in the book, but the long and short of it is that the Paper caste are treated horribly and discriminated against. Especially under the Demon King. As part of this discrimination, though it’s framed as a “privilege”, eight Paper caste girls from across the country are taken to be the king’s private prostitutes.

Lei, our main character, is one of those Paper Girls. She is taken, against her will, because of her golden eyes, to be a bribe from one of the king’s generals. And it’s not an easy life. Lei deals with the politics of court life, the discrimination from the demons in court, resentment from the other Paper girls.

It’s complex and hard to explain, but Lei is a phenomenal character to spend time with. She’s open and vulnerable, yet fierce and determined. Ngan is expert at balancing the world building with character development, and the chemistry between Lei and the person she falls for is intense! In fact, she does an excellent job with intensity all around: the fight scenes, the chemistry, everything.

So, yeah. It’s a hard one to explain (and to sell), but I’m definitely picking up the second in the series!