This was the month of mediocre jacket flaps. There wasn’t much that was really super inspiring, fun, clever, interesting or eye-catching. Ah, well. I guess there’s bound to be months like that.

5. Merlin Trilogy (Morrow): “The prophetic voice of Merlin, the mysterious enchanter of Arthurian legend, has completed his story. Written over a period of ten years, Mary Stewart’s three best-selling novels now stand together in one volume — the finest work of her distinguished career. Hers is the most extended portrait in all literature of this compelling figure of Dark Age myth and history. Merlin, the protector and tutor of Arthur, has usually been portrayed as an old man. But The Crystal Cave begins the trilogy with the story of his perilous childhood as the bastard son of a Welsh king’s daughter and the secret discovery of the magic arts that will set him apart from other men. With the birth of Arthur, Merlin’s guardianship began and the ancient legend continues in The Hollow Hills with the dramatic immediacy that is Mary Stewart’s special gift. Arthur grew to young manhood, ignorant of his royal parentage, in the deep and dangerous forests of fifth-century England and Wales, where no law was stable and fierce battle rages amongst the brooding mountains. When, in due course, Merlin guided him to the sword that tested his claim to power and the crown, Arthur became king by right, and soon Merlin, his adviser, was to emerge, however obscurely, as the architect of the first United Britain. King Arthur plunged instantly into violent warfare against the Saxons. But in The Last Enchantment there are also more dangerous and subtle enemies ranged against him: Mortgause, half-sister and seductress of Arthur; their child, Mordred; the friends and kin who will betray him. Merlin’s darkest prophecies were realized one by one, yet his bright vision of the future kingdom did prevail, and he foresaw the mystic power that would be at the King’s service as long as Arthur lived. The imaginative brilliance of the Merlin Trilogy completes the life and character of Merlin which are left untold in the early legends. At the end of each of the novels, Mary Stewart has set down the substance of the original legends and with it the sources of her own variations. Her portrait of Merlin is a new legend in itself.”

It’s long, yes, but it’s also a jacket flap for a three-in-one edition. And for that, I think this is a good summary — just enough about each book to give you a hint, but it doesn’t go on overly long.

4. The Orchid Thief (Random House): “The orchid thief in Susan Orlean’s mesmerizing true story of beauty and obsession is John Laroche, a renegade plant dealer and sharply handsome guy, in spit of the fact that he’s missing his front teeth and has the posture of al dente spaghetti. In 1994, Laroche and three Seminole Indians were arrested with rare orchids they had stolen from a wild swamp in south Florida that is filled with some of hate world’s most extraordinary plants and trees. Laroche had planned to clone the orchids and then sell them for a small fortune to impassioned collectors. After he was caught in the act, Laroche set off one of the oddest legal controversies in recent memory, which brought together environmentalists, Native American activists, and devoted orchid collectors. The result is a tale that is strange, compelling and hilarious. New Yorker writer Susan Orlean followed Laroche through swamps and into the eccentric world of Florida’s orchid collectors, a subculture of aristocrats, fanatics and smuggles whose obession with plants is all-consuming. Along the way, Orlean learned the history of orchid collecting, discovered an odd pattern of plant crimes in Florida, and spent time with Laroche’s partners, a tribe of Seminole Indians who are still at war with teh United States. There is something fascinating or funny or truly bizarre on every page of The Orchid Thief: the story of how the head of a famous Seminole chief came to be displayed in the front window of a local pharmacy; or how seven hundred iguanas were smuggled into Florida; or the case of the only known extraterrestrial plant crime. Ultimately, however Susan Orlean’s book is about passion itself, and the amazing lengths to which people will go to gratify it. That passion is captured with singular vision in The Orchid Thief, a once-in-a-lifetime story by one of our most original journalists.”

Someone answer me this: why are all jacket flap descriptions in adult hardback books really long? Just because there’s the space to fill, doesn’t mean you have to fill it. That aside, this does a decent job making a weird book about orchids, Florida and passion sound interesting.

3. The Battle of the Labyrinth (Hyperion): “Percy Jackson isn’t expecting his freshman orientation to be any fun. But when a mysterious mortal acquaintance reappears, followed by demon cheerleaders, things quickly move from bad to worse. In this fourth installment of the blockbuster series, time is running out as war between the Olympians and the evil Titan lord Kronos draws near. Even the safe haven of Camp Half-Blood grows more vulnerable by the minute as Kronos’s army prepares to invade its once impenetrable borders. To stop them, Percy and his demigod friends will set out on a quest through the Labyrinth — a sprawling underground world with stunning surprises at every turn. Full of humor and heart-pounding action, this fourth book promises to be their most thrilling adventure yet.”

I thought this did a good job with the book; enough bones for someone who knows the books and is curious about this one, but not too much to give away the plot. Which is essential, especially for Percy Jackson.

2.. Out of the Wild (Sleuth Razorbill): “Beware the Wild: it bites. Ever since Julie Marchen helped defeat the fairytale world of the Wild, life’s been pretty much back to normal. That is, as normal as life can be for a girl whose mom is Rapunzel. Yes, that Rapunzel. Then the Wild mysteriously releases Zel’s prince (Julie’s dad) — a rescue-minded hero who crashes full-speed ahead into the 21st century (YOU try teaching a 500-year-old prince to use a seatbelt.) Julie’s over the moon, but when a wicked Fairy Godmother kidnaps Sleeping Beauty and reawakens the Wild, Julie and her dad set off on an action-packed adventure to save the distressed damsel, and the world. If they can’t, they’ll spend eternity in a fairytale.”

Clever, funny, witty. Very well written.

1. Airman (Hyperion): ” Conor Broekhart was born to fly. In fact, legend has it that he was born flying in a hot air balloon at the world’s fair. In the 1890’s Conor and his family live on the sovereign Saltee Islands, off the Irish coast. Conor spends his days studying the science of flight with his tutor and exploring the castle with the king’s daughter, Princess Isabella. But the boy’s idyllic life changes forever the day he discovers a conspiracy to overthrow the king. When Conor tries to expose the plot, he is branded a traitor and thrown into jail on the prison island of Little Saltee. There, he has to fight for his life as he and the other prisoners are forced to mine for diamonds in inhumane conditions. There is only one way to escape Little Saltee, and that is to fly. So he passes the solitary months by scratching drawings of flying machines into the prison walls. The months turn into years, but eventually the day comes when Conor must find the courage to trust his revolutionary designs and take to the skies.”

It made me want to read the book (well, that and blog reviews…). And it does a good job of describing the whole plot (see the one worst), and not just one element of it.

And the one worst:
Exodus (Walker Books): “Less than a hundred years from now, the world as we know it no longer exists. Cities have disappeared beneath the sea, technology no longer functions, and human civilization has reverted to a much more primitive state. For the residents of Wing, an isolated northern island, time is running out. As the sea swallows precious acres and threatens to claim their very lives, they must look beyond their tiny island home for refuge. Only fifteen-year-old Mara has the vision and the will to lead them all in search of a new beginning in this harsh, unfamiliar world. She learns of sky cities that are safe from the storms and rising water, and she is finally able to convince the islanders that finding their way to New Mungo, the closest of the New World cities, is their only chance for survival. But upon reaching the mysterious high-tech civilization, they are shut out of the city, blocked from their only chance at sanctuary. Mara must find a way past the walls to save her people, even if it means risking everything. “

The thing that bothered me most about this — and you wouldn’t know it until you read the book — is that the jacket flap only covers the first 1/3 of the book. The rest of Mara’s adventures, and how she eventually escapes them all, are left unknown. Reading this, you would think that the adventure is getting to New Mungo, not getting away from it. (Oops, a spoiler. Sorry.)

So, I decided because of this post that I needed to rename my monthly feature. Therefore, it will now (and forever) be the Jacket Flap-a-Thon. That way, people will know I’m actually talking about the words on the back of the book, and not the quotes by other authors.

Picky, picky.

Anyway. On with this month’s picks. It was a difficult choice, but the 5 best:

5. Serving Crazy with Curry (Ballantine Books): “Between the pressures to marry and become a traditional Indian wife and the humiliation of losing her job in Silicon Valley, Devi is on the edge — where the only way out seems to be to jump… Yet Devi’s plans to end it all fall short when she is saved by the last person she wants to see: her mother. Instead, she cooks… nonstop. And not just the usual fare, but off-the-wall twists on Indian classics, like blueberry curry chicken and Cajun prawn biryani. Now family meals are no longer obligations. Devi’s parents, her sister, and her brother-in-law can’t get enough — and they suddenly find their lives taking turns as surprising as the impromptu creations Devi whips up in the kitchen each night. But then a stranger appears out of the blue. Devi, it seems, had a secret — on that will touch many a nerve in her tightly wound family. Though exposing some shattering truths, the secret will also gather them back together in way s they never dreamed possible. Interspersed with mouthwatering recipes, this story mixes humor, warmth, and leap-off-the-page characters into a rich stew of a novel that reveals a woman’s struggle for acceptance — from her family and herself.”

This is one of those cases where the description (a bit misleading with the “mouthwatering recipes”) is almost better than the book.

4. The Djinn in the Nightingale’s Eye (Random House):“Gillian Perholt, an independent and sensible scholar, no longer young, is given a bottle of beautiful “nightingale’s eye” glass by a Turkish friend. Inside it is trapped a huge (and very male) djinn, a magical genie who must grant her three wishes in return for his release. Gillian’s use of her wishes — she is an expert in fairy stories and in what can go wrong with wishes — is careful and surprising. The story takes the professor and the djinn from Istanbul to Toronto and Madison Avenue. The two discover each other’s worlds, with respect, and something more. Described by the London Sunday Times as “finely tuned on the twilit axis of what is real and what is unreal,” this comic and passionate new tale forms the brilliant centerpiece to this first collection of A. S. Byatt’s fairy stories. Readers of Angels & Insects and Byatt’s Booker Prize-winning novel, Possession, have already encountered some of the unforgettable Victorian fairy tales that are woven into her fiction and have asked for more. Two of these (“The Glass Coffin” and “Gode’s Story”) are included here, with three contemporary additions: “The Story of the Eldest Princess,” “Dragon’s Breath,” and the incomparable novella-length title story. Byatt’s inventive and enticing stories are both magical and very modern. They are fairy tales for adults, which retain the mystery and beauty of the world we imagine as children. Byatt readers will discover new delights and surprises, while those unfamiliar with her work will find here an enchanting introduction to the magic of her writing.”

I like that it gives me an enticing glimpse (what does “very male” mean anyway?) into the main story, as well as tastes of the shorter works. It made me want to read the book.

3. The Luxe (Harper Collins):“Pretty girls in pretty dresses, partying until dawn. Irresistible boys with mischievous smiles and dangerous intentions. White lies, dark secrets, and scandalous hookups. This is Manhattan, 1899. Beautiful sisters Elizabeth and Diana Holland rule Manhattan’s social scene. Or so it appears. When the girls discover their status among New York City’s elite is far from secure, suddenly everyone—from the backstabbing socialite Penelope Hayes, to the debonair bachelor Henry Schoonmaker, to the spiteful maid Lina Broud—threatens Elizabeth’s and Diana’s golden future. With the fate of the Hollands resting on her shoulders, Elizabeth must choose between family duty and true love. But when her carriage overturns near the East River, the girl whose glittering life lit up the city’s gossip pages is swallowed by the rough current. As all of New York grieves, some begin to wonder whether life at the top proved too much for this ethereal beauty, or if, perhaps, someone wanted to see Manhattan’s most celebrated daughter disappear… In a world of luxury and deception, where appearance matters above everything and breaking the social code means running the risk of being ostracized forever, five teenagers lead dangerously scandalous lives. This thrilling trip to the age of innocence is anything but innocent.”

Oh so decadent. Kind of like the novel.

2. The Willoughbys (Houghton Mifflin Company): “‘Shouldn’t we be orphans?’ one of the Willoughby children suggests one day. The four are, after all, part of an old-fashioned kind of family, and their parents –well, their parents are not all that one would hope for. Recalling literary heroes and heroines such as Anne of Green Gables, Pollyanna and James with his giant peach, the Willoughbys concoct a diabolical plot to turn themselves into worthy and winsome orphans. Little do they know that Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby have already begun to formulate their own thoroughly despicable plan inspired by another favorite bedtime story: the tale of Hansel and Gretel… Villains, benefactors, no-nonsense nannies, abandoned infants, long-lost heirs, and late-life romance all make their appearance along with the irrepressible Willoughbys as the Newbery Award-winning author Lois Lowry pays playful homage to classic works of literature in this hilarious and decidedly ‘old-fashioned’ parody.”

Delightful. It gives you just enough of the plot so you’re not surprised, but not enough so that you’re bored or misled while reading. And it captures the tongue-in-cheek elements of the book beautifully. If only they had used “nefarious” or “villainous” (though they did get “diabolical”) it would have been perfect.

1. Dairy Queen: A Novel (Houghton Mifflin Company): “When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said. Harsh words indeed, from Brian Nelson of all people. But, D. J. can’t help admitting, maybe he’s right. When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said. Stuff like why her best friend, Amber, isn’t so friendly anymore. Or why her little brother, Curtis, never opens his mouth. Why her mom has two jobs and a big secret. Why her college-football-star brothers won’t even call home. Why her dad would go ballistic if she tried out for the high school football team herself. And why Brian is so, so out of her league. When you don’t talk, there’s a lot of stuff that ends up not getting said. Welcome to the summer that fifteen-year-old D. J. Schwenk of Red Bend, Wisconsin, learns to talk, and ends up having an awful lot of stuff to say.”

Sort, simple, and very enticing. What does she have to say?? I, at least, want to know.

And the one worst:

Interpreter of Maladies (Mariner): “Winner of the 2000 Pulitzer Prize for fiction, this stunning debut collection unerringly charts the emotional journeys of characters seeking love beyond the barriers or nations and generations. ‘A writer of uncommon sensitivity and restraint… Ms. Lahiri expertly captures the out-of-context lives of immigrants, expatriates, and first-generation Americans’ (Wall Street Journal).
In stories that travel from India to American and back again, Lahiri speaks with universal eloquence to everyone who has ever felt like a foreigner. Honored as ‘Debut of the Year’ by The New Yorker and winer of the PEN/Hemingway Award, Interpreter of Maladies introduces a young writer of astonishing maturity and insight who ‘breathes unpredictable life into the page’ (New York Times).”

This doesn’t tell me anything about the book. Mostly it’s just a litany of how wonderful Lahiri is, and while that’s all fine and good, I want an inkling of what the book’s about. Please?

I have to apologize for the short reviews the past couple of weeks. I was looking through them yesterday, and I realized how little I had to say. Ah, well. Chalk it up to residual flu-like symptoms. I hate being sick, it tends to slow me down and make everything (mostly my brain) hazy. I’m feeling more up to snuff today… the first time in a couple of weeks. Maybe I’ll even be able to churn out something lucid this week.

On to our flaps…

The Top Five:
5. Robot Dreams (First Second): “Richly endearing and full of surprises, Robot Dreams follows an ill-fated friendship between a dog and a robot. After a Labor Day jaunt to the beach leaves Robot rusty and immobilized in the sand, Dog, unsure what to do abandons him. As the seasons pass, Dog tries to replace his friend, making and losing a series of new ones, from a melting snowman to epicurean anteaters. Meanwhile, Robot passes his time daydreaming, escaping to better places. . . Through interwoven journeys, the two characters long to recover from their day at the beach. Although its adorable characters and playful charm will win over young readers, Robot Dreams speaks universally to the fragile nature of friendship, loss and redemption.”

I think this is remarkable — it’s a wordless book, and yet they’ve come up with an interesting (and accurate!) blurb about the book. Not an easy task.

4. Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians (Scholastic): “A Hero with an incredible talent… for breaking things. A life or death mission… to rescue a bag of sand. A fearsome threat from the powerful secret network that rules the world… the Evil Librarians. Alcatraz Smedry doesn’t seem destined for anything but disaster. But on his thirteenth birthday, he receives a bag of sand, and his life takes a bizarre turn. This is no ordinary bag of sand… and it is quickly stolen by the cult of evil Librarians who are taking over the world by spreading misinformation ans suppressing truth. The sand will give the evil Librarians the edge they need to achieve world domination. Alcatraz must stop them!… by infiltrating the local library, armed with nothing but eyeglasses and a talent for klutziness.”

I liked this one primarily because it made me laugh. Kind of like the book.

3. A Curse Dark as Gold (Arthur A Levine Books): “The gold thread shimmers in the fading light. It promises Charlotte Miller a way out of debt, a chance to save her family’s beloved woolen mill. It promises a future for her sister, livelihood for her townsfolk, security against her sinuous and grasping uncle. It might even promise what she didn’t know she needed: lasting hope and true love. But at what cost? To get the tread, Charlotte must strike a bargain with its maker, the mysterious Jack Spinner. But the gleam of gold conjures a shadowy past — secrets and bonds ensnaring generations of Millers. And Charlotte’s mill, her family, her friends, her love… What do those matter to a powerful stranger who can spin straw into gold? In her brilliant debut, Elizabeth Bunce weaves a spellbinding fairy tale, spun with mystery and shot through with romance.”

I like how this alludes to Rumpelstiltskin, without coming outright and saying “this book is based on the fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin”. I also like that it works in the elements of weaving and family, which were also important to the book.

2. The Winter Queen (Random House): “Moscow, May 1876: What would cause a talented young student from a wealthy family to shoot himself in front of a promenading public in the Alexander Gardens? Decadence and boredom, most likely, is what the commander of the Criminal Investigation Division of the Moscow Police thinks, but still he finds it curious enough to send the newest member of the division, Erast Fandorin, a young man of irresistible charm, to the Alexander Gardens precinct for more information. Fandorin is not satisfied with the conclusion that this is an open-and-shut case, nor with the preliminary detective work the precinct has done — and for good reason: The bizarre and tragic suicide is soon connected to a clear case of murder, witnessed firsthand by Fandorin. There are many unresolved questions. Why, for instance, have both victims left their fortunes to an orphanage run by the English Lady Astair? And who is the beautiful “A.B.,” whose signed photograph is found in the apparent suicide’s apartment? Relying on his keen intuition, the eager sleuth plunges into an investigation that leads him across Europe, landing him at the deadly center of a terrorist conspiracy of worldwide proportions. In this thrilling mystery that brings nineteenth-century Russia to vivid life, Akunin has created one of the most eagerly anticipated novels in years.”

A bit long, but really fun — and it works in a bit of Fandorin’s personality without giving away too much.

1. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac (Farrar Straus Giroux): “If Naomi had picked tails, she would have won the coin toss. She wouldn’t have had to go back for the yearbook camera, and she wouldn’t have hit her head on the steps. She wouldn’t have woken up in an ambulance with amnesia. She certainly would have remembered her boyfriend, Ace. She might even have remembered why she fell in love with him in the first place. She would understand why her best friend, Will, keeps calling her “Chief.” She’d know about her mom’s new family. She’d know about her dad’s fiancée. She never would have met James, the boy with the questionable past and the even fuzzier future, who tells her he once wanted to kiss her. She wouldn’t have wanted to kiss him back. But Naomi picked heads. After her remarkable debut, Gabrielle Zevin has crafted an imaginative second novel all about love and second chances.”

Clever, intriguing and to the point. It also reflects the tone of the book really well. Very, very good.

The Worst One:
Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window (Kodansha):“This engaging series of childhood recollections tells about an ideal school in Tokyo during World War II that combined learning with fun, freedom and love. This unusual school had old railroad cars for classrooms, and was run by an extraordinary man — it’s founder and headmaster, Sosaku Kobayashi — who was a firm believer in freedom of expression and activity. In real life, the Totto-chan of the book has become one of Japan’s most popular television personalities — Tetsuko Kuroyanagi. She attributes her success in life to this wonderful school and its headmaster. The charm of this account has won the hearts of millions of people of all ages and made this book a runaway bestseller in Japan, with sales hitting the 4.5 million mark in its first year.”

For me, the worst crime a jacket flap copy writer can commit is to underplay a very cute book. Granted, it’s a very hard book to categorize and summarize, but, still, this blurb does not do anything to make me want to read the book, and the whole deal about the author becoming a huge TV star in Japan is just padding. Terrible.