Adult Fiction

Audiobook: Northanger Abbey

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by Jane Austen
Read by Donada Peters
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Next up on my “reading Jane Austen” this year project was Northanger Abbey. It was more of a whim; I haven’t listened to any Austen in a while, and I was at the library, and this one just jumped out at me. I remembered reading it a while ago (2008, it turned out; follow the link if you want a plot summary), but I didn’t remember much else. I was excited to get going.

But… when I put it on, I realized that it was the same reader as Madame Bovary. Remember when I didn’t know if it was the book or the reader?? I’m here to tell you that it was at least 60% the reader. Because, while I plowed through this one (it’s JANE AUSTEN, and I can’t bail on her), I didn’t get much out of it. Peters’ voice grates on me, and I ended up tuning things out and missing huge chunks of the story.

Things I did get: John Thorpe is a complete jerk. Boorish, manipulative, and possibly one of the worst male characters Austen invented. He’s not a cad, or a rake, or even a Bad Guy. No: he thinks he’s Noble and Right, but he’s a bully, and that’s what makes him so terrible.

Along the same lines, General Tilney is shallow and boorish as well. Maybe they needed to exist so that Henry — who is a little on the dull side — would shine.

That said, Catherine herself is a silly, silly girl. Emma is, too, but in a completely different way. Catherine lets her imagination run away with her, but that’s really all she is. (Emma’s a snob, but there’s some growth there by the end of the book.) I didn’t feel like there was any growth, any reason for Henry to fall in love with Catherine other than she was pretty and nice. It was kind of unsatisfying, in the end. Which, by the way, I felt was rushed, a little.

Still not my favorite Jane Austen, but I also have to blame the reader for my lackluster reaction to this. Maybe sometime I’ll see if a different person read another edition of the audiobook and see if I have a different reaction.

Audiobook: The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

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by Alan Bradley
read by Jayne Entwistle
ages: adult
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Flavia DeLuce is an 11-year-old aspiring chemist in 1950s England. Often at odds with her two older sisters, she mostly tries to stay out of the way. That is, when she’s not researching poisons.

Then one fateful night, her father has an argument with a stranger, who turns up dead in the cucumber patch, uttering one word: “Vale”. Flavia (of course) was there to hear it, and it sets her on a path to figure out who the murderer really is, and free her father.

On the one hand, I was thoroughly entertained by Entwistle’s reading of this book. Her voices were terrific, and she managed to keep my attention, even though I had problems with the book itself. The first one being the number of similes. Oh. My. Heavens. If I drank, I’d make a drinking game of them. And I’d be plastered by the end of chapter 2. I tried counting them, but I lost count after a dozen (within 10 minutes or so). I was complaining about them to Hubby, and he did point out that Flavia — who is a precocious child (I don’t like precocious children in adult fiction; it grates) — is the narrator, which may have something to do with the inordinate number of similes. Even so, I resigned myself to them, rolling my eyes whenever I heard one.

My other problem was that I called the murderer too early. Bradley introduced a random character about halfway through, and even though I didn’t know how or why, I knew he had to be the murderer. Why else introduce a random character. And, in many ways, I find that bad form.

But, it wasn’t a terrible waste of time — I did finish it after all. Even if it wasn’t perfect.

The Silver Star

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by Jeannette Walls
ages: adult (though it would be okay for a 14+ teen)
First sentence: “My sister saved my life when I was just a baby.”
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I read The Glass Castle so many years ago that I didn’t have much memory of it outside of a general liking of it. So, I went into reading The Silver Star with a fairly open mind. The only real prejudice was that I heard this was a good YA crossover. Which was enough to get me to pick it up.

And, surprisingly (to me at least), I quite liked it.

Sisters Liz and Bean (whose real name is Jean) have grown up with their artist/flake of a mom, moving constantly, and dealing with her occasional disappearing acts. Then one time, she doesn’t come back. Liz and Bean manage for a while, but when people start poking their noses around, they decide to up and go across the country to visit the uncle they’ve never met in their mom’s hometown of Byler, Virginia.

Their Uncle Tinsley takes them in, but they find that living in small town Virginia is has own set of challenges. (Especially in 1970-71, which is when this takes place.) In addition to the whole new kids in town feeling, the girls find they have to deal with a lot of Small Town History. The Hollidays used to be the mill owners, and used to be Big People in Town, but have been fading over the years. The current mill manager — Mr. Maddox — is a real piece of work (that’s being nice; ominous music started in my brain about page 100), and there’s a bit of a feud between him and Tinsley. And that only intensifies when Maddox assaults Liz.

Two things I think Walls really got: 1970s politics, and smart kids. The former was evident not only in the race relations, which admittedly she just breezed over, but in the politics of sex crimes. While the way the town and the legal system treated Liz, I was glad Walls wasn’t tempted to modernize this. (Though I wonder how “modern” the legal system really is in this area.) It helped the authenticity and feel of the novel overall.

I also appreciated that she didn’t glorify either small towns or the South; it’s all laid out there, the good and the bad, for better or for worse. And for some people — like Liz and Bean’s mom — it is worse. But that said, family doesn’t necessarily mean blood. And in tough times, good people stick together.

It’s a quick read, and well worth the time.

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

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by Neil Gaiman
ages: adult
First sentence: “It was only a duck pond, out at the back of the farm.”
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Review copy picked up at Winter Institute and passed on to me by a coworker.

Childhood memories are tricky things. Especially when, with time and distance, the events seem less than real. So, what happens when one is faced with a memory — something do Dark and Sinister — that is unbelievable?

An unnamed man returns to his childhood home in Sussex, England and is drawn to the house at the end of the lane, or more particularly, the pond. That’s when he begins to remember: a suicide, and Letty Hempstock taking him Beyond and the Events that Followed.

I know I’m being vague, but that’s on purpose. Much of the charm of this fairy tale — and it is a fairy tale — is watching the events unfold through the child’s eyes. It’s got all the traditional fairy tale elements: an Evil that needs to be Vanquished; a good witch to help our unwitting hero do just that. I’m not a true fan or expert on Gaiman, but I don’t think he’s written something this straightforwardly charming since Stardust. And, in spite of the Dark and the Foreboding, it is a sweet, simple, charming story.
 
My coworker mentioned that she felt like something was missing when she finished, but I disagree: it’s just right the way it is. Not complex, not elaborate, but eloquent in its sparseness. And I admire that.

And the Mountains Echoed

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by Khaled Hosseini
ages: adult
First sentence: “So, then,”
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The hardest part about writing about this book is that it doesn’t really have a plot, not in the traditional sense. The story begins with a folk tale about a poor but happy family who have 5 children. Then one day, a div comes and demands that they give up one of their children, or he will take them all. After much agonizing, the father decides to give up his youngest, his favorite, even though it breaks his heart.

The father goes later to see the div,to see what has happened to his child. He expects something sinister, but the child is happy, growing, thriving in the div’s care. The father is given another choice: take the child home, never to return. Or leave the child, and never see him again. It’s a tough choice.

Finishing that story, I had no idea it’s relevance for the book, but upon closing it, I understood. The story is, simply, about the ripple effect of one person’s decision. In this case, it’s an poor Afghani villager who sells his  daughter to a wealthy couple. It sounds a lot more sinister than it really is. In a series of short stories, really, Hosseini explores the people touched by that act in any little way. From the stepuncle, to the adoptive mom, to the doctor who ended up living in the house, Hosseini explores the ripple effect.

I don’t want to call this book profound, partially because after going to an event with Hosseini, I think he’d be uncomfortable with that label. It is, however, insightful and fascinating exploring lives through time. And while the stories were uneven — some of them ran long, and others weren’t that interesting — I thought the format served the story well. That, and Hosseini really is an elegant writer: I’m not a word person, but the words were just gorgeous.

It wasn’t a gripping read, but it was a thoughtful one. And one that I think will stay with me for quite some time.

Two Gentlemen of Verona

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by William Shakespeare
ages: adult
First sentence: “Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus: Home-keeping youth have never homely wits.”
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I picked this one because our local Shakespeare company is doing it this month (we’re going this weekend to see their production). And, because it was a comedy. Though — to be completely honest — I kind of got this one mixed up with The Merchant of Venice. I kept expecting Shylock to show up…

As for this one (no merchants) the plot goes thusly: A couple of rich, pampered boys from Verona (the two gents of the title) — Valentine (which my girls — who watched/read with me — said that’s a really stupid name) and Proteus — are basically hanging out.  Proteus has a girl — Julia — and is giving Valentine a hard time for not having one. So, when Valentine leaves to go see the world (oh, bully for him), he ends up in Milan at the court of the Duke/Emperor (Shakespeare couldn’t decide) and falls head over heels in love with Silvia (who kept coming in amid fanfare and flower petals in the version we watched). Everything is all happiness. That is (cue sinister music here), until Proteus gets sent away to Milan to the Duke/Emperor’s house and meets Silvia and falls head over heels in love with her.

At which point we were all like: “DUDE! You just professed your love to JULIA. You GAVE HER YOUR RING. Which has to be ALL kinds of serious in Shakespeare, RIGHT?? WHAT are you THINKING???”

So, Proteus decides to get Silvia — who, to her credit, is really in love with Valentine — to like him honestly. Failing that, he decides to go to her father, make up some slanderous story about Valentine, and get him exiled. Which wins him the award for Worst Best Friend EVER. After which, Valentine goes to the forest and becomes king of the outlaws.No joke. No, we didn’t understand that, either.

Proteus tries again with Silvia the Old-fashioned Way, by singing a terrible sonnet at the foot of her balcony at midnight. Hey, if it worked for Romeo… However, since Silvia really is True To Valentine, she runs into said forest (it is a Shakespeare comedy, after all). Whereupon Proteus chases her and tries to force himself on her.By this point, Julia, who Can’t Live Without Him, has disguised herself as a boy and ran off to Milan in search of her True Love. And discovers him singing to Silvia.That doesn’t go over well with her. Heart broken, she runs into the forest as well.

Yep. It’s a Shakespeare comedy were everyone ends up in the forest. Didn’t see that coming. At all.

Anyway, Proteus is out being a total douchebag, when the outlaws catch him and drag him to Valentine, who decides to get all (rightly) ticked off at Proteus. And Julia’s there — in a very bad disguise by the way — heart breaking, and Silvia’s crying, and it’s just a mess. Somehow it all gets straightened out, and Julia gives Proteus his ring back by accident whereupon he remembers her (WHAT?!?) and she FORGIVES him (WHAT?????) and la-di-da everyone lives happily ever after.

If you didn’t get it from reading this far, we were kind of MEH about this one. There’s so much not right with this play. Maybe the local company will make it work for me, but we’ll see. Go see Much Ado About Nothing instead. It’s SO much better.

Audiobook: Emma

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by Jane Austen
read by Michale Page
ages: adult
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After I finished listening to this one, I went back and read what I wrote after finishing last time and I pretty much still feel the same way. Mr. Knightly is still practically perfect (and still only Jeremy Northam in my mind), Emma is still silly and snobbish, Harriet is still under-served in this story (and quite silly as well). It’s still quite amusing, and very, very true to life.  Austen really is a master observer, and

The reading was fantastic as well. I had issues with his voices at first — can’t quite seem to let my movie voices go — but as it went on, I fell in love with the way he portrayed everyone. The character that stood out to me the most this time around was Mrs. Elton; Page captured her perfectly in all her snobby pretentious absurdity. Miss Bates was more annoying when listening to the book; I realized that most of the time I just skim what she’s saying, instead of listening to every single detail. I’ve never been worse for it, either.

Do I think it’s Austen’s best work? Possibly. Did I get anything new out of this re-read? Not really. But I thoroughly enjoyed revisiting Emma again.

One for the Money

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by Janet Evanovich
ages: adult
First sentence: “There are some men who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever.”
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While I’ve been aware of the powerhouse that Janet Evanovich is (that woman puts out a least a book a year!), I’ve never really had that desire to read her. Perhaps it’s because of my NY Times-best seller aversion, or perhaps it’s because I rarely do mysteries. But whatever the reason, I only picked one up because a nice woman in my (now-defunct) in-person book group insisted she was a lot of fluffy fun.

So, for those under the rock (I don’t know how many of you are there): Stephanie Plum is an out-of work, divorced, nearly 30-something woman in Trenton, New Jersey. She’s not been able to find a new job, and she’s run out of things to hock for rent money, so she turns to her cousin Vinnie, who runs a bail bond company. She takes on the biggest case she could: apprehending former cop Joe Morelli, who’s been accused of murder. Of course he’s innocent — we can’t have the sexy cop be guilty, now, can we? — and Stephanie gets herself in some deep trouble — rapists and murderers, oh my —  as she tries to bring Morelli in.

The woman was right: this is fluff. I don’t think I felt my IQ falling while reading it, but I didn’t find much redeeming about it, either. Except maybe her portrait of Trenton in the mid-90s? I also didn’t find that I was enthralled by it, either. I would read a few chapters, put it down and read a few books before looking at it and thinking, “Yeah, I probably ought to read a bit more.”  Maybe it just wasn’t my cup of tea. But, honestly: I don’t see the appeal of this series (Eighteen books? Really?). One is more than enough for me.

Audiobook: The Castle of Otranto

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by HoraceWalpole
Read by Tony Jay
ages: adult
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 It starts out on as a happy day for Manfred, the lord of the Castle Otranto. His only son, Conrad, is going to be married to Isabella. However, right before the wedding, Conrad is mysteriously killed by falling helmet. Weird, right? That’s only the beginning: Manfred, distraught, does the only thing possible (huh??) and decides that, to insure his lineage will go on, he will marry Isabella. (Yeah, Manfred does have a living wife. And a daughter.) Isabella (rightfully) escapes (go girl!) with the help of a peasant, Theodore. Whom Manfred locks in the tower. Theodore’s rescued by Matilda, Manfred’s daughter (you’ve gotta love the pluck of these girls. The novel was published in 1764), and sent off to help Isabella. After almost nearly killing her father (who appeared out of nowhere, really), they head back to the castle to confront Manfred and the ghosts that have been haunting him.

It’s a melodramatic, over-the-top novel. But, I really had a great time with it. The best part of this one was the narrator. Jay was fabulous. I found myself gripped in the thralls of what I would have otherwise  found to be a boring, hard to understand novel. I found myself listening in the car because Jay was so captivating.

And that made all the difference for me.

Where’d You Go Bernadette?

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by Maria Semple
ages: adult
First sentence: “The first annoying thing is when I ask Dad what he thinks happened to Mom, he always says, ‘What’s most important is for you to understand it’s not your fault.'”
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Bernadette Fox is one of those enigmas that drive Soccer Moms crazy. She’s a recluse, she’s  doesn’t involve herself in the PTO, she has impeccable fashion sense, and she’s talented. All of which adds up to jealousy and gossip.

As told from Bernadette’s 14-year-old daughter Bee’s point of view, here are the events that led up to Bernadette’s disappearance:

1. Seattle is horrible. (I, personally, can’t vouch for that, but then I never lived there. But it she made a very good case for Seattle being full of a bunch of urbanite wannabes, without the sophistication, which makes for insecure and vicious women.)

2. The neighbor (one of those urbanite wannabes Bernadette calls “gnats”) insists on Bernadette removing ALL of the blackberry bushes from her yard. In the middle of the wettest December ever.

3. In the middle of the neighbor’s party, the entire hillside (where the aforementioned blackberry bushes were) slides down into the house destroying the party (and the house). Which sets neighbor off.

4. Another “gnat” (and neighbor’s best friend) becomes Bernadette’s husband’s admin. With disastrous results.

5. Bee wants to go on a cruise to Antartica. In December (it’s their summer). Which sets off Bernadette’s anxiety.

6. Husband decides (with some prompting by aforementioned admin gnat) that what Bernadette really needs is to be checked into a mental institution.

So, of course Bernadette has little choice but to disappear.

Someone asked me, after reading the jacket blurb, “Is this a sad book?” I can wholeheartedly say: No, it’s not. It’s funny, it’s pointed at those people (women, mostly) who want to pretend to be Sophisticated, it’s a heartfelt exploration of depression and of acceptance. And it’s a testament to a girl’s faith in her mother. It’s a sweet story, if a bit rambling at times, one that I didn’t mind spending a few hours reading.