The Undaunted

by Gerald N. Lund
ages: adult
First sentence: “David Dickinson’s eyes were wide open.”
Review copy sent to me by someone at By Common Consent because I volunteered for this torture.

Five ways to ruin a historical novel:

5. Write in dialect: “It be joost fur me, Dah?” If I have to read it aloud to understand it, it’s not worth my time.

4. Too much historical detail, not enough plot. “These full-sized coal carts were four feet wide and eight feet long and could hold the contents of six of the small coal tubs. That was about four tons of coal each. The carts had wheels and axles formed from a single piece of steel. This meant the two wheels did not turn independently, nor did they have an independent braking system. This was where the spraggers come in. If a car got rolling too fast down a grade, it would jump the tracks and smash into the wall.” I really don’t care that much about mining practices in England in the mid-19th century anyway. I swear about 500 pages of this book could have been axed. (Granted, I only made it through the first 50, but I’m just sayin’.)

3. Too much narrative exposition, not enough action. “David still hesitated. He liked Albert Beames, or Bertie, as most of the trappers called him. He was a bit odd looking, with freckles hidden beneath the layers of coal dust, and teeth that were prominent enough that some of the older boys called him Beaver Beames. Bertie was a year older than David and about a stone heaver* [yep, that was footnoted] He was totally devoid of ambition and was baffled by David’s continual talk of becoming a hurrier.” Three words for you: Show. Don’t tell.

2. Having a Message. Okay: I get it. They were Brave and Noble and Faithful. It’d be nice if they were interesting characters, too.

And the number one way to kill a historical novel:

1. Footnotes and endnotes. Puh-lease. It’s fiction, not a textbook. If I really cared what Yorkshire Pudding or Turkish Delight was I’d Google it.

I knew there was a reason I never read LDS fiction.

14 thoughts on “The Undaunted”

  2. Happen I might joost skip this un.

    And what's so weird about having freckles anyway? And if the freckles are hidden behind the coal dust, how does one know they are there? Do other people's freckles somehow show, so the fact that his do not is what makes him odd??????

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  3. Tricia — yes, it is more than 800 pages. And I swear 500-600 of them could have happily been cut. It may have even been a halfway decent story.

    Charlotte — oh, too funny. 🙂

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  5. Too funny. Just when I think I'm the only one who CAN'T read anything from an LDS bookstore without gagging, you post this! 🙂 I will say that during my high school/early college years, that I LOVED The Work and the Glory, but I just can't go in that direction anymore. Thanks for being honest here. It made me smile a bit.

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  6. Okay, it's funny that you posted this today. I'm reading IN THE COMPANY OF ANGELS by David Farland right now, and I was just thinking, “Dude, either write a story or write a history.” There are ways to incorporate all the historical details into the story without making it sound like a textbook! Ugh.

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  7. Ha! Loved this. I haven't got much taste for LDS fiction (though I admit to reading Jack Weyland for many years *cringe*). I've tried the Great and Terrible series, since my husband loves it, but have only made it through the first book. Fortunately, it was short. 🙂

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  9. Yep, that's enough to turn me off….Good for you to close the book, walk away and say enough is enough!! There are too many good books out there to waste the time.
    Now, what's next on your agenda???!?!

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  10. That good, huh?
    I haven't read it, but I'll take your recommendation not to.
    Have you read Schooled? I'm in a book club that is reading it this month. I'll try to look in your past stuff to see it you did a review of it.

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  12. Inside a Book: Catcher in the Rye, probably. Though I'm craving a really good fantasy right now, so I might read Maria Snyder's Storm Glass instaed.

    Betsy, no I haven't. Is it any good?

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  13. I'm glad I read your review before picking up this book, though the size of it would have been enough to scare me away. I like books that move quickly along with just enough narrative to let you form your own images.

    And all the background. I have to say I agree with you that too much is just, well, way too much.

    One I read recently that I thoroughly enjoyed was “Your Heart Belongs to Me” by Dean Koontz. I reviewed it on my blog, here: http://authorryanhunter.blogspot.com/2009/12/50-pages.html but I'd love to see what you have to say about it.

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