This is one of those really good book-group books; there’s so much fodder for discussion. Talk about Sara and her relationship to her parents, especially her mother. Compare Sara’s and Maryam’s childhoods… was Maryam a good mother? Talk about Maryam’s relationship with her father. How did it affect her future and why do/don’t you think it affected her?

And the one that’s been haunting me for a couple of days: Was Maryam’s decision right?

I won’t bore you with the personal details on my end (I’d rather not, anyway), but I will say that this book threw my past up in my face (in a way; I didn’t live in Iran, obviously, and my father was — and is — actually a very kind, loving man. ) and made me assess my present. Can a person be happy in the life and love she chose even when she has had to give up something very dear to her?

I’d like to think, yes, she can.

But, one of the premises of the book — sorry for the spoilers, I don’t know how to review this without divulging it, because it’s just too personal — is that Maryam, at least, can’t. She lives with the ghosts, is haunted by her past, and ends up wrecking her life in order to face that past. I felt so bad for her husband, Edward. The only thing he ever did to deserve being left is love her. And that’s just not fair. That’s not fair of me, though, because this book isn’t about fairness.

I did like that it addressed issues of homeland and exile — is part of the reason why Maryam can’t overcome her past because she was forced to leave her country for another? (Ah, another book group question.) I liked and admired Sara; she was stuck in the middle of all this, and helplessly confused about her mother’s actions, especially since they so closely deal with Sara, herself. I liked Sara’s marriage to Julian — it was grounded, honest, and open, everything a good marriage should be. (And, I should add, very unlike her parents’. )

I’m not sorry I read this, but I do have to say it’s not one I, personally, will be reading again. The language is beautiful, the story haunting and moving. It’s just too close for comfort.