First sentence: “My wife has great taste in art, with one exception.”

This was my on-line book group this past month, and to be honest, I really had no intention of picking it up at all. I’ve been trying to make it through stacks of books that I own, or have been sent. Not to mention indulging in rereading.

But, the discussion on the board made me curious, and I cracked it open to read a few chapters.

For the most part, the chapters I read (I dipped in and out, reading the chapters on praise, race, lying, sibling rivalry) were pretty much rehashing parenting advice that I’ve either heard elsewhere or figured out on my own. (But look: it’s backed by science. Therefore it must be credible.) Admittedly, I’m inherently distrustful of these types of parenting books (well, to be really honest: I’ve been inherently distrustful of parenting books, period, ever since I tossed my copy of What to Expect During the First Year — or something like that — fourteen years ago), and so I really wasn’t expecting anything earth shattering. I think, for parents who talk and think and use common sense and put their kids best interest ahead of what’s “expected” or “right” or what the kids “should” be doing, most of the information in this book will be second nature.

But the chapter on the science of teen rebellion? That, I found interesting.

Perhaps it’s because M is hitting that stage, and I haven’t really broached the topics of teenagerhood or arguing. There’s part of me that’s got my head in the sand: everything will run as smoothly as middle school did, since I honestly believed those would be the terror years. But, the studies that they cited, and the results that were found made me think. Arguing good? To a certain extent, yes, because it’s a dialogue of sorts with the teen. Having rules is good, too, but being anal about them leads to lying and hiding. In other words, don’t be a pushover, but also listen to your kids and work the rules around what seems reasonable. The studies on the pleasure center in teens brains was fascinating, too.

Typing this up, I realized that, yeah: all this is logical, common sense stuff, too: there’s really nothing ground breaking. But perhaps, as parents, what was needed was a one-stop shop, someplace where all this good stuff about parenting, and treating our kids differently from adults (which is really their final conclusion), which includes having different expectations for them, because they’re not adults is quite a good thing.

Which, I suppose, I can agree with.